Connection Interrupted
by Darien Chaffart | Nov 8, 2026
Sermon Notes
- John 13:34-35 CSB
“I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - Context of John 13:
– During supper, Jesus gets up and washes His disciples’ feet
– After washing their feet, Jesus calls out Judas, who has betrayed Him
– After Judas leaves, Jesus tells His disciples to love others as He has loved them - Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation or Trust
- Disconnection can happen by accident, but reconnection requires effort
- Matthew 18:15 CSB
“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.” - Matthew 5:23-24 CSB
So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. - If someone hurts you, who is responsible for dealing with it? You.
If you hurt someone (and know about it), who is responsible for dealing with it? Still you. - Regardless of who is at fault, we’re responsible to seek reconciliation
- Jesus calls us to address the issues, but not to force reconciliation on the other person
- Matthew 18:15 CSB
If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. - Jesus’ Process of Addressing Conflict:
1. Go privately – talk to the person directly (if safe). - Matthew 18:16 CSB
But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. - Jesus’ Process of Addressing Conflict:
1. Go privately – talk to the person directly (if safe).
2. Bring someone along – invite a neutral third party to help mediate. - Matthew 18:17a CSB
If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. - Jesus’ Process of Addressing Conflict:
1. Go privately – talk to the person directly (if safe).
2. Bring someone along – invite a neutral third party to help mediate.
3. Involve the right people – bring it to the appropriate authority or community. - Matthew 18:17b CSB
If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you. - Jesus’ Process of Addressing Conflict:
1. Go privately – talk to the person directly (if safe).
2. Bring someone along – invite a neutral third party to help mediate.
3. Involve the right people – bring it to the appropriate authority or community.
4. Release the outcome – if reconciliation remains impossible, recognize you cannot force it. - Jesus calls us to reconcile with others because He modeled it for us first
- 2 Corinthians 5:19b CSB
…in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and he has committed the message of reconciliation to us. - Ask God: Is there a relationship that has been interrupted in which you want me to pursue reconciliation?
Pray: Father God, help me imitate your love for people, even when it is hard. Help me to forgive those who hurt me, and to seek reconciliation in my relationships with others, regardless of who caused the disconnection. Help me model my life after you: to love others like you do, no matter the circumstances. Amen.
Discussion Questions
- In this message, Darien said that disconnection often happens by accident, but reconnection requires effort. In your experience, what makes it difficult to repair a relationship after hurt, conflict, or misunderstanding? What can happen when we leave those issues unaddressed?
- In Matthew 5:23-24 and Matthew 18:15, Jesus highlights that we are responsible for taking the initiative to repair damaged relationships, regardless of who is at fault. In your opinion, why does Jesus call us to take responsibility for reconciliation, even when we are not to blame?
- In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlines a process for addressing conflict, beginning with a private conversation and involving others as needed. Does any part of this process stand out to you as easy or difficult? How can we intentionally seek to resolve conflict directly and lovingly?
- Darien emphasized in this message that Jesus calls us to address problems and seek reconciliation, but that we ultimately cannot force another person to participate. In your opinion, how can we know whether to keep pursuing reconciliation or accept that the other person isn’t willing to pursue it? What role do healthy boundaries play in this kind of situation?
- In 2 Corinthians 5:19, we read about God’s willingness to pursue a relationship with us, even when we had turned away from Him. How does this challenge the way we often respond to relational conflict? What does this teach us about how we should respond when our relationships with others are damaged?
- Is there a relationship in your life where you need to take a step toward reconciliation? What is one practical step you could take this week to pursue reconciliation with that person?
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