Connection Lost
by Joy van de Ligt | Oct 18, 2026
Sermon Notes
- When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. John 11:32-33 NIV
- “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb… John 11:34-38a NIV
- CONNECTION IS LOST WHEN WE EXPECT FAITH TO CANCEL GRIEF
- When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. Job 2:11 NIV
- When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:12-13 NIV
- The Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me…” Job 42:7 NIV
- CONNECTION IS LOST WHEN WE DEMAND EMOTIONAL PROGRESS
- My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. Job 42:5 NIV
- As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him. He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” They stood still, their faces downcast… “We had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” Luke 24:15-17, 21 NIV
- When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” Luke 24:30-32 NIV
- CONNECTION IS LOST WHEN WE CONFUSE PRESENCE WITH FIXING
- Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15 NIV
- If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath. Psalm 34:18 MSG
Discussion Questions
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Why do you think we sometimes struggle to make room for grief, even in Christian communities? How can we communicate that someone can be hurting and still have faith
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Have you ever experienced a time when someone’s presence helped you more than their advice? Why can it be difficult to sit with someone’s pain without trying to fix it or explain it
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The sermon identifies three ways we can lose connection with people who are hurting:
Expecting faith to cancel grief.
Demanding emotional progress.
Confusing presence with fixing.Which of these three do you think is easiest for us to fall into, and why?
What might it look like to respond differently? -
What makes it difficult to keep showing up for someone whose struggles don’t seem to improve? How can we offer consistent love while also maintaining healthy boundaries?
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Have you ever looked back on a difficult season and recognized God’s presence in a way you couldn’t see at the time? How might this truth encourage someone who currently feels abandoned by God?
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What is one practical way you could become more present for someone who is hurting this week? What could our church do to become a place where people don’t have to pretend they’re okay to belong?
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